Woohoo! I was just looking up my name on Google and I am finally the number one site that comes up when you search “Jason Wertenberger”. For the longest time soneone named Jason Lee had the number one site, because he also mentioned someone with the last name Wertenberger. Fuck that. I’d be ok if I was outdone by another Jason Wertenberger, but not by some pretender to the thrown like Mr. Lee.
When you search “Wertenberger” on google I am not even in the first 20 some pages. That’s right, there are actually a lot of Wertenbergers out there. Stranger yet, I am not related to any of them. How is that possible you ask? Well it was common that when immigrants came into the United States, either through confussion with the language or on a whim, last names would be replaced with the town they came from. My relatives came from Wittemburg. The name was Americanized and became Wertenberger. Their former last name was Webber, pronounced Viber. So these other Wertenbergers more than likely came from the same German city, but are more than likely of no relation.
So how is that for a history lesson?
I finally saw the new Harry Potter movie a few days ago. It was really good. I kept hearing that it was a darker movie and I guess I would agree with that. I’ve liked every one of the Harry Potter movies, even thought they are kid’s movies they aren’t dumbed down to their supposed audience.
Kris wants to see Spiderman 2, but I just can’t motivate myself to do it. I’m not really an action movie person. She’s always the one who wants to see the shoot ’em up movies, kind of a reversial of roles I suppose. I’d rather see a good comedy any day of the week. I’d rather see something that makes me laugh or think that see something that depresses me. I know some people like to see tearjerkers, but thats the last thing I need, blah.
Before Harry Potter we saw the trailer for the Spongebob movie. I can’t wait. I love Spongebob, I hope the movie doesn’t disappoint. I have also heard that they are going to try and release the Strangers with Candy movie sometime around Christmas! That will so kick ass. From what I havce heard Mathew Broddrick plays a new teacher that comes between Chuck Nobblet and Joffrey Jellyneck. Hahaha. Man, this movie can not disappoint! The usual brilliant human, but with no holes barred in regards to what Jeri says. Hot damn, I wonder how many minority groups will be outraged?
“Natasha, a 5-year-old black macaque walks at the Safari Park near Tel Aviv Tuesday July 20, 2004. The young monkey began recently walking exclusively on her hind legs after a stomach ailment nearly killed her, zookeepers said.(AP Photo/Eli Dasa)”
I don’t know if any of you have caught this story. I found it pretty amazing. It reminds me a lot of my cat, Simon. When she was young I had her declawed. After I learned how they do declawing I probably wouldn’t ever do it again to a cat, but I digress. When she got home her front paws were obviously sore. She got in the habit of sitting on her hind legs, sort of like the pictures you see of a praire dog sitting up out of their hole. She got pretty good at balancing herself. Eventually, I would catch her walking around on her hindlegs. Sure it was wobbily, but we are talking forward and backward motion! In one way it was kind of creepy, but in another it was facinating. I wondered whether I had made a big mistake getting her fixed. I mean, suppose she was the next step in cat evolution? Maybe she would have had kittens that would go on to be better bipeds than their mother? Before you know it cats everywhere would be walking around on their hindlegs.
Once her front paws healed she stopped walking like a biped. So I guess getting her fixed wasn’t such a big deal, but I still feel bad about it. I might have been able to make a bunch of money selling her kittens.
I just read a very interesting article in this month’s Playboy magazine, yes I actually read the articles. I know, I’m a nerd. Anyway, it was about Detroit. In the 1950’s and 60’s, Detroit was the closest thing the world has ever seen to being a true “worker’s paradise”. A work could get a job out of high school, make and extremely high wage and be able to afford all the modern convienences. This lasted until the race riots of the late 60’s. Detroit went from being a city of 1.9 million to under one million people. The city was devistated causing it to slide into it’s current status as “hell on earth”.
The author described the current Detroit as two seperate cities. Some aspects of Detroit iare comparable to that of a southern city. Detroit is a prodominantly black city. Families are very important. Detroit is also very religious. There are tons of churches. Many of the most respected people in the community are religious leaders. But the other Detroit is the opposite of the first. The other city is a crime infested hell hole. At the current rate, Detroit averages a murder a day in 2004. Drugs and crime rule large sections of the city. While many of the most respected leaders are preachers and ministers, many are also crime bosses, drug dealers, and criminals.
It’s hard for me to understand how people can justify both sides in their heads. If you believe in god, how can you believe that god will be ok with you blowing the head off your neighbor or addicting their children to drugs. One police officer was quoted in the article as saying that often the killers will attend the funerals of those they have killer. That takes guts.
Anyway, it’s a very interesting article, check it out.
Well, I got my raise. It ended up being almost $2 an hour extra, for now. The board of directors said that as soon as I am able to start making some sale gains my pay will get a substantal boost. Thats cool. All I want is the chance, so I’m pretty happy about that. It’s really the incentive I need. Cold calling golf course and being a slimey salesman isn’t something that comes to me very naturaly, so I need to be pushed along.
In other news, buy a Thermawave! We also have 4 units on sale at Ebay for $74.95
I finished my first full week as a salesman. After a week and a day I still don’t know what I am being paid nor have I been able to gain a desk with a phone. The last salesman effectivly went insane. He hasn’t showed up for about 3 weeks, but everyone still seem to be leary about me boxing his shit up so I can move my junk to his desk. I currently use his desk for the phone, then I go back to my desk to use my computer. I really want to take his crap down. His desk is surrounded by about 20 photos of his teenage son at different stages of devolpement. It’s kinda creepy. I guess the office would be a dream come true for Michael Jackson, but it doesn’t do a whole lot for me.
On an even cheerier note, there are massive lay offs coming in our production staff effective Tuesday. God, what a cluster fuck. Prior to the last week and a day I have never had any sort of sales experience. Now, I am the company’s only full time salesman. Talk about responsability. I need to get out there and help get these peoples’ jobs back. I have a meeting with a golf course Monday at noon. We will see how it goes.
I sure wish I knew what I was getting paid. I just no I’m gonna get screwed over. I’m not sure why I even bother.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you your 2004 Cherry Festival Queen, Maggie Schneider! Of course, this is pending her “cherry” verification.
JasonWert: Holy shit! A bird just attacked me
JasonWert: it dive bombed and hit my head
squirt7135: nice, what kind of bird?
JasonWert: a mean one is all I know
squirt7135: goodness.
JasonWert: I probably have lice now
squirt7135: what? thats how you get lice??
JasonWert: not usually
squirt7135: i didnt think so? why would you get lice from a bird attack?
JasonWert: why not, it’s feathers rubbed against my head
squirt7135: this is from a site online: Head lice do not come from or live on animals.
In my last post, I forgot to mention that my goal is to get golf courses to install these in their golf carts. That might have benn obvious but I realized I made no mention of that. I am finding out that there is this whole little world surrounding golf carts that I never knew existed. The first thing you learn is that you don’t call them golf carts. They are golf CARS. Crazy, I know. I have a few magazines here that I’m suppose to read over. You can buy just about anything you want for these things. You can buy roll cages, roll bars, brush guards, lowering kits, lift kits, huge tires, little tires, walnut dashboards, running lights, enclosed cabs, chrome rims, and thousands of other options. You can buy body kits that make your golf car look like a Dodge Ram, Ford Mustang, a Jeep, or just about any other vehicle you want. It’s amazing that people who pimp these things out to such a degree. I guess if someone is willing to pay for it, there is someone ready to take his or her money. One of those people wanting to take their money is me.
Starting next Monday I have a new job. I am going to be a salesman.
I’m selling these little babies:
Welcome to Thermawave Products!
"The original beverage cooler and heater for motor vehicles and boats."
Yup. I have to go to golf courses and get them to install these things.
I wish I knew how to play golf. I think it might make the job easier.
Maybe I can take lessons. Anyway, I haven't found out what my pay will be.
All I know is that it will be "bumped up". I hope its atleast $3 an hour more.
Maybe there will be some sort of comission? That would be nice. This is going
to be an interesting challenege for me. First of all, I hate talking on the
phone and this job will require me to cold call potential customers. Second of
all, I am gonna have to become a slimey salesman. Oh well, anything to climb
that corporate ladder. Maybe I can get them to buy me a cellphone? That would be
cool.
Oh by the way, this is for the same company I have been working for. We created
a dummy corporation, Thermawave, to sell these coolers. So technically I am
working for Tellurex and Thermawave. I think I should get two checks.